What If Dogs Ruled?

What if dogs were in charge, and humans were their pets? The cost of health care would be a whole lot lower, I’ll bet. Because dogs would feed their humans only what was good for them, and people wouldn’t get as fat or sick.  Fast food places like McDonald’s and KFC would go under, but their former customers would be less likely to do the same.

Instead of sitting around watching Dr. Phil or Nancy Grace, we’d spend more time getting exercise down at the people park. We’d learn that big or small, black, brown, white, yellow or red, we’re all really the same. Through everyday socializing with other humans, we’d get to know each other better and become nicer people. Before you knew it, I think we’d all be getting along far better. Liberals and conservatives would both go away. The United Nations would be a lot more united. Peace would be given far more of a chance.

If dogs were in charge, we’d probably take fewer baths and shower less, which could save our precious water. Not to mention all that rope on a soap. But since we’d be eating better and getting groomed more often, we’d  likely be just as clean and sweet smelling as we are right now.

We’d certainly not need as much stuff, including smart phones or iPads. A frisbee and ball perhaps, they’d keep us eternally entertained. Especially if we were among the lucky ones with owners who’d want to teach us tricks. I mean, what could be more fun than fetching? Or even better, playing dead?

Oh sure, many of us might have to go to obedience school. But wouldn’t that kind of go with the territory? Once you mastered that irresistible begging look, you’d have your pup eating out of your bowl.

On cold winter nights, you’d never again have to sleep on the couch or in the dog house. Even if your girlfriend or husband happened to be angry with you. You’d have your own comfy fleece bed to curl up in.

And all those pesky bills, petty office politics, garden pests, and piles of dirty laundry? Hey, they’d no longer be your responsibility. Just bark at your retriever and he’d take care of them.

If only dogs did rule. Big sigh! I’m sure this world would be a much better place. I agree with what someone once said, that “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”



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